My grandmother, Esther Perkel (née Lampert), passed away early this morning.
There's so much to say, so many feelings to sort through. The children will be sad when I tell them. But that, in itself, is amazing: they knew, and had a loving relationship, with their great-grandmother -- a bond that transcended the enforced separations of COVID. My grief is accompanied by gratitude that we were able to overcome so many obstacles to see her this past summer.
I will share a bit of Talmud that is relevant, and which I studied just yesterday. The rabbis discuss the moral imperative of charity, and declare that kindness is an even greater virtue. Why? One reason is that charity involves money, while kindness can involve money and a personal relationship. Another reason is that charity benefits the poor, but kindness can benefit the poor and the rich. Finally, charity is for the living, but kindness is for both the living and the dead, whom we can show kindness by honoring them in burial and in memorials.
The lesson resonated with me -- not because my grandmother was fading, but because she was able to show kindness to my children, just last month, at the age of 101, with nothing material to give them, with the simple joy of her words and her smile and her love. So many people have been deprived of the chance to share those last moments with loved ones during this pandemic. I feel lucky and I will always cherish the memories we were able to create. Death is the way of all life, but I regard this as an example of God's enduring goodness -- the more so as the Hebrew date of her passing is 18 Elul, "Chai Elul," a special date on the calendar, with the number 18 representing the Hebrew word for "life."
I should add this: I remember, as a child, visiting Esther and my grandfather, her beloved husband, Abe, in South Africa. I remember her tears at the airport as she said goodbye to us, not knowing if she would see us again. She was then in her mid-sixties, and she and Abe would join us in the U.S. just a few years later. Grandpa Abe -- a great, kind, wonderful man -- passed away in 1989, and was dearly missed, but Esther went on to live another 32 years, working until her mid-eighties and enjoying the growth of her family around the world. I think of those tears at the airport: could we have known that we still had so much joy to share, that we would be together again? I pray that the tears of today herald a reunion in God's loving arms, one day, after this beautiful life must fade.
This is the portion that all journalists should love: the Torah tells the story of the 12 spies, only two of whom tell the truth when the other ten shade it in a negative away (perhaps to suit a political agenda that is opposed to Moses).
It's not that the ten "lying" spies misconstrue the facts about the Land of Israel; rather, they interject their opinions that the land is impossible to conquer, which strikes unnecessary terror into the hearts of the people.
We have many examples of such fake news today -- from the Iranian propaganda outlets spreading false claims that they are winning the war, to California politicians spreading false horror stories about ICE raids in L.A.
The people realize, too late, that they have been fooled, and once they are condemned to die in the desert, they try to rush into Israel -- only to be defeated by the inhabitants, as the spies predicted that they would be.
But as consolation, God gives the people new commandments -- focused on things they must ...
This week's portion discusses the procedure for lighting the menorah, the holy seven-branched lamp, in the Tabernacle (and later the Temple). It also describes an episode where the people crave meat, and God punishes them by giving it to them in excess. We also read the story of Miriam, Moses's sister, who is punished with the spiritual skin blemish of tzara'at for speaking about her brother, thus violating the prohibition against lashon hara (evil tongue).
I heard a fantastic sermon this week about the lighting of the menorah: that while only the priests were qualified to clean and purify the menorah, anyone could light it. A reminder that each of us can inspire others along the way.
This week we study the vow of the Nazirite; a reminder that sometimes trying to be too holy is excessive, and the best we can do is to be the best that we are.
https://www.chabad.org/parshah/torahreading_cdo/aid/2495720/p/complete/jewish/Naso-Torah-Reading.htm