The Bible explores the complicated relationships between sons-in-law (or daughters-in-law) and fathers- or mothers-in-law in many instances.
There are the dysfunctional relationships, such as Laban and Joseph, or Saul and David. There are the miraculously harmonious relationships, such as Ruth and Naomi. There are also peculiar relationships, such as Judah and Tamar (who end up producing their own child, who is the ancestor of kings and the Messiah).
And then there is the ideal relationship: that of Moses and Jethro.
In the Jewish tradition, the Torah portion in which the Ten Commandments are given is named for Jethro -- not "Ten Commandments," or "Sinai," or even "Moses," but "Jethro." That is because the narrative begins with Jethro offering advice to Moses about how to delegate responsibility so he does not collapse from the immense workload of leading an entire nation. Moses listens -- but then sees his father off (Exodus 18:27), and they live happily ever after.
So the ideal is: the in-laws offer advice, you listen to it, then they leave.
Or... perhaps not. There is some sense among the Torah commentaries that Jethro eventually comes back, and he and/or his descendants join the people in the Holy Land. Regardless, in some sense he is always with the people -- even if not in person. His suggestion to Moses concerned the organization of the Jewish legal system. And it was that which sustained the Jews for millennia.
This week’s portion launches the great story of Abraham, who is told to leave everything of his life behind — except his immediate family — and to leave for “the Land that I shall show you.”
There’s something interesting in the fact that Abraham is told to leave his father’s house, as if breaking away from his father’s life — but his father, in fact, began the journey, moving from Ur to Haran (in last week’s portion). His father set a positive example — why should Abraham leave him?
Some obvious answers suggest themselves — adulthood, needing to make one’s own choices, his father not going far enough, etc.
But I think there is another answer. Abraham (known for the moment as Abram) needs to establish his own household. This is not just about making one’s own choice, but really about choosing one’s own starting point. It’s starting over.
Sometimes we start over in fundamental ways even if much that surrounds us remains the same. Sometimes the journey we have to ...
The story of Noah is familiar; the details, less so.
Noah is often seen as an ambivalent figure. He was righteous -- but only for his generation. What was his deficiency?
One answer suggests itself: knowing that the world was about to be flooded, he built an Ark for the animals and for his own family -- but did not try to save anyone else or to convince them to repent and change their ways (the prophet Jonah, later, would share that reluctance).
Abraham, later, would set himself apart by arguing with God -- with the Lord Himself! -- against the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, saying that they should be saved if there were enough righteous people to be found (there were not).
Still, Noah was good enough -- and sometimes, that really is sufficient to save the world. We don't need heroes every time -- just ordinary decency.
Hi all -- as I noted last month, I'm going to be closing down my Locals page, at least for tips and subscriptions -- I may keep the page up and the posts as well, but I'm no longer going to be accepting any kind of payment.
Look for cancelation in the very near future. Thank you for your support!
