Consider this your lefty-style trigger warning: I am about to talk about sex. Nothing too graphic, but if you prefer to keep your reading on the vanilla side, then this is an entry you may wish to skip.
"Kink" refers to a broad range of things, but mostly the world of BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism). It's restraints, roleplay, and a whole bunch of other things that ADULTS may enjoy.
There was an interesting piece in Politico a few years ago that found that Republicans and Democrats had different fantasies. The former fantasized about sex outside their marriages; the latter liked BDSM.
The best explanation: fantasy often involves what we aren't supposed to do or to like. Republicans support traditional marriage; Democrats support gender equality. Each side fantasizes about the alternative.
That's a broad generalization. I'm not going to bore you with my own fantasies, except to say that while I'm politically on one side, my fantasy life is omnivorous (maybe because I was once on the left?).
I'm fearful even to acknowledge that I HAVE fantasies. It would not be controversial if I were not a public figure. But when you are in public life, especially as a conservative, people use it against you.
Nevertheless, I'm really tired of hiding from myself -- not just in sexual ways. I keep my politics hidden sometimes, for example. I need to live more authentically. It feels shameful to be ashamed.
Back to sex: I'm not into anything too crazy. But I like beauty and a sense of adventure. My wife and I have enjoyed a wonderfully playful erotic life for the 18 years we've been together (married 13 years).
The Jewish religion is somewhat more liberal, in the classical sense, about sex than other monotheistic faiths. The Talmud says that, in the context of marriage at least, lovers can do whatever they want.
I sometimes marvel at the frequency with which Jewish males seem to get into sexual trouble in public life, and I wonder if it's because they're secular and therefore misdirect that religious, sexual energy.
My wife and I also practice what is known as "taharat mischpacha" -- the Jewish laws of family purity, which is a cycle of abstinence that starts with a woman's period and continues for seven days after it.
Part of the idea, a rabbi explained to me once, is that absence keeps desire burning. In the 12-14 days in which you cannot touch each other, your wife becomes the "other" woman (see Politico, above).
I think that's fun -- and I think kink can perform a similar function. When one partner is restrained, the other can enact his or her full desires; the restrained one can experience feelings in a pure sense.
Roleplay is also fun. It introduces a sense of silliness and delight, and allows you to experience alternate states of consciousness. And all of this without drugs, alcohol, or anything that is actually unhealthy.
I think I've said enough. It's not the kind of thing I'd bring up in an open forum or at work, of course. But I also want to stop being afraid of who I am and what I like. This is a way of overcoming that fear.
This week'd portion begins the book of Numbers. Interestingly, the Hebrew name for the book is "In the Desert," not "Numbers." The portion, which happens to be my bar mitzvah portion, focuses almost as much on the names of the princes of each tribe as the number of soldiers it fielded. It also focuses on the configuration of the tribal camps around the central Tabernacle and the Levites.
So why "Numbers" instead of "Names" or "Places"? The numbers are, to be sure, a unique feature of the opening of this Biblical book -- but they are not the focus of the rest of the narrative. The Hebrew focuses on the place where the events in the book take place, because essentially this is the narrative of the Israelites' wanderings from Egypt to Israel, across 40 years. We move from the giving of the Torah and the construction of the Tabernacle in Exodus and Leviticus, to the final valediction of Moses in Deuteronomy -- Bamidbar is the story of wandering that happened in between.
The question of ...
This week's portion begins with the laws of the Sabbath and the Sabbatical year, and the Jubilee year that restores all land to its original (tribal) owners. It also explores laws of property and labor that will apply in the Land of Israel, and the laws of vows and inheritance.
The Israelites are presented -- not for the last time -- with the essential moral choice that they must face, and the rewards for choosing well, along with the consequences for choosing poorly.
We learn that doing good things will earn God's protection from enemies. That does not mean that victims of terror, God forbid, were sinful. But it does mean that we can respond to evil by committing ourselves to a higher path.
This week's portion describes the major sacrifices that are to be offered by the Jewish people, including those that are offered only by the priestly Kohen class, and physical requirements of the people (men) who serve in that role.
Inter alia, there are interesting commandments -- such as an injection to treat animals with respect and care, first, by letting a mother animal nurse her offspring for a week before being offered in any sacrifice; and second, by refraining from slaughtering an animal and its offspring on the same day.
The commandments regarding animals remind us of the purpose of those regarding human beings: to uphold a divine connection, through ritual.
https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/111878/jewish/Rabbi-Isaac-Luria-The-Ari-Hakodosh.htm
